Do you ever get those days where you feel that you’re simply just running on autopilot?

I know I feel that way sometimes–always busy, rushing from one project to the next, adding more and more to my plate—but no matter what and how much I get  accomplished, it never feels like I’m doing enough.

Instead, what happens is that everything I check off my to-do list only seems to multiply, and I end up with a million more things to do. And each accomplishment only makes me feel like I am running further, and further behind! No matter what I do, I just can’t keep up and with this  life that is spiraling out of control.

As I reflect on that right now, it’s pretty obvious: I am running around in circles, working hard but not actually working towards anything that matters to me. I get so caught up on the treadmill of life that I never paused to stop, to  reflect and question why I am putting so much energy into the things that I am.

The degree to which we can grow is akin to the amount of time that we as individuals spend in self-reflection mode. I don’t ever want to be too busy to sit down with my thoughts and reflect about where I am and where I want to go.  I know it’s one of the most valuable things I can do with my time, and for you as well.

If you want to start moving forward with the things that matter, here are 7 intentional questions to ask yourself every day.

1. Why am I doing this?

Simple, straightforward and to the point. I If a lot of us started thinking about the things that we do, we’d be pretty surprised at what answers come up.

For example, I study  hospitality management. I used to tell myself I did it because I loved the industry, that I loved  people and that  I was good at my job (which is true by the way). But in reality, I hated the work—and when I dug deep, I realised that I only stayed because I was scared to do something else and fail. I had the security of a job that was respectable to other people and I didn’t want to lose that.  

But asking “why” before we do something isn’t always so profound; sometimes it’s just practical.

2. Am I doing this for me?

This is a good question to ask yourself regularly when you feel your priorities are out of alignment. It can help shine a light on the areas where you need to enforce stronger boundaries

As is often the case with self-reflection, it can reveal some ugly truths—may be working all the time isn’t really all about “crushing your goals ” the way you initially thought? Maybe you do it because all of your identity is in the fear that you will be deemed insignificant if you aren’t always working towards achieving something. It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but awareness is the first step to making changes that better align with your values.

On the other hand, when you’re clear about who you do things for, it can reaffirm decisions that you’ve already made and help you stay motivated. For example, making healthy life choices might be easier if you’re doing it for yourself and not strangers on the Internet.

But I should also point out that self-reflection isn’t about layering on harsh judgement yourself or others. Instead, it’s about honesty; knowing why you do what you do and who you do things for, so you can make intentional decisions about where you choose to spend all of your time, energy, and money.

3. Could this be simplified?

When I am overwhelmed, I overthink things  and end up complicating them more than they should.

I think this stems from a deeply rooted cultural belief that looking for shortcuts is “copping out”. But in an era where we arguably have more demands on our time and energy than ever before, why should we make our lives any more difficult when all we could do is simply work smarter.

Taking just five minutes to ask the question and look for a simpler alternative has saved me countless hours throughout my life. Leverage those resources that are available at your disposal. And if people want to help you. Let them.

4. Is this adding more value to my life?

Your time and energy are valuable, and you are valuable.

This is something that is so easy to forget. We trade away our precious lives in little moments—one hundred rand here and one hundred rand there—because it feels insignificant at the time. But in reality, we often spend our lives on things that give us little value in return.

I am a firm believer that everything has to earn its place in our lives. That is why we should regularly ask ourselves: “How does this add value?” Whether it’s a new purchase or another task on your to-do list, make sure it’s worth it.

If you can’t specifically explain how something is adding value to your life, then odds are it isn’t.

5. What am I giving up?

There’s always some sacrifice that we have to make. We give up time and money in exchange for things. But it’s more than a price tag or a few hours out of your day.

Everything also has an opportunity cost. For example, when your home is cluttered, you spend time and energy cleaning that you could spend engaging in a hoodie or much needed rest! The cost isn’t just time, it’s also rest or connection.

These tradeoffs are easy to overlook, which is why I think this is such an important question to ask yourself. When you put a name to the tradeoffs associated with any decision, it helps you see things more clearly. Again, it’s not about right or wrong, but it is about alignment. 

When you decide to do or buy something, make sure you think about what you’re giving up to make it happen. Keep your values and priorities front and center, and make sure you’re not trading what you want most for short-term gains. Whenever you decide to do or buy something, make sure you think about what you’re giving up to make it happen. Keep your values and priorities in mind, and make sure you’re not trading what you want most for short-term gains.

6. How does this make me feel?

Our feelings are our greatest teachers.that’s why it’s so important to listen to them. There are always clues in those nervous pangs in our tummies.

If you’re doing something that makes you feel sad, anxious, or angry it’s crucial to understand why. Are you doing something that goes against your core values? Or do you need more rest and support?

Or when you feel more positive emotions​​—why? What can you learn from your feelings and how can you apply what you learn in your everyday life? How can you be intentional about creating the life you want?

7. Am I being honest with myself?

Finally, it’s important to check that you’re being honest with yourself, because if you’re not, none of what you mentioned in the above questions will really matter.

And to be clear, I’m not suggesting that you’re purposely lying to yourself. But our brains like to protect us from things like pain and hurt, so it can be a bit creative at times.

For example, I tend to  myself that I am busy all the time because I can’t  afford to work fewer hours.  When in reality, I am scared to work less because that would mean I have no excuses for not putting myself  out there as much as I could because the thought of rejection is just too scary to think about.

A lack of clarity and alignment stems from not making enough time for self-reflection. Instead, what we do is tell ourselves the same stories over and over and wonder why we feel so unhappy.

You are the one who is going to be with you for the rest of your life. So put that relationship first, dig deep and ask yourself the necessary questions to ensure that you are still true and faithful to yourself. Remember that life doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be yours and if you’re putting in the work day in and out, you’ll find yourself exactly where you need to be.